When Your Body Fails You…

Are you the type of person that always has to sandwich a negative comment with like 1,000,000 nice things. I am. I think it’s my Pollyanna positivity that kills me sometimes. 😉 SO with that being said, let me just say that I love my body. I am so thankful to have it. BUT I hate it. I cannot count the number of times I have fainted. Thankfully I always know when it’s about to happen (prodrome for the win). I can usually control this by making sure I take my iron (anemia. whoop whoop.), not staying in heat too long (saunas included), and drinking lots of water. I’m so great at this that I haven’t passed out for like 1.5 years, and before that 3 years.

This weekend I biked to breakfast with a friend — something I’ve done so many times. So cute, right? Well I would have had photos, but halfway there I started feeling lightheaded. Then dizzy. And then I remembered, oh poop dummy, when was the last time you took iron? I was on my period. I hadn’t eaten that day. I probably didn’t drink enough water. It was hot(ish) out. THERE WAS SO MUCH INCLINE. So I yelled out to my friend that I was going to pull over on the road and sit in the shade. I didn’t even have the strength to prop the bike up. I just let it fall to the ground as I sat, then laid back on the gravel.

My poor, sweet Honey Boo-Boo friend (Sarah) was so kind. She got my water bottle out and made sure I drank it all. She propped the bike up and stood over me to make sure I had shade. She devised alternate plans so we wouldn’t have to bike home. But I insisted I would be fine after a few minutes of just being still and letting the blood reach my head.

So we did that. After like 10 minutes, I got up and biked the 4 more blocks to the restaurant. Like an idiot.

I couldn’t stand long enough to lock the bike up to the rack. Dang I have amazing friends- so good to me during my body fails. We went into the restaurant, with Sarah’s urging, I immediately sat down. She filled my water bottle. And then I passed out.

THANK THE GOOD LORD, no one saw me except for Sarah and the nice, nice server. Because let’s be honest, the worst part of this really is making a scene/ being noticed. IT’S SO EMBARRASSING! Basically I feel like my body has announced to the world, “hey guys, I can’t make it up a hill on a bike,” or “I can’t bike a mile without being gassed,” or “you can handle this heat, but not me, not this girl!” And then I feel the need to remind/ inform people that I’ve biked 30 miles with no problem. I’ve hiked the La Luz Trail like 7 times. I’ve climbed the third-highest peak in South Korea (which was only a 5’er… lol). But when my body fails I feel the need to sing of all her accomplishments. Dang, pride is a real bitch.

Anyway… I passed out. They called 911. I came to. I canceled the 911 call (because, really, what are they going to do. IV me? I can drink my own water, thank you very much). I sat there. I asked Sarah for more water  in my bottle and a lemon. I meant for the lemon to be eaten for electrolyte replenishment, but Sarah thought I was just being extra and put it in my bottle. LOL. She really is the best.

Sarah then ordered at the counter for us, but kept checking back to make sure I was ok. I was fine, except I didn’t want to get up across the table to get my bag/ phone… so I sat there bored for 10 minutes. I mean, the travesty, right?

We ate. I got a ride home. Sarah checked in one me a few times via text to make sure I was ok. I kept telling her I was fine.

I started getting frustrated that she was so persistent and worried. I didn’t even think to put myself in her shoes and how scary that experience must have been! I mean, I’ve lived through it so many times. I know how to recover. She doesn’t! She’s never seen it! What was just an embarrassing blip to me, was a traumatic experience for her. What I viewed as my body failing, she was viewing as her friend in trouble. When I kept apologizing, she constantly reassured me that it wasn’t my fault. Friends like that are the best.

When your body fails, let others (literally and figuratively) hold you up.*

*Unless you need to lie down. Then do that….don’t let them touch you! lol.

 

 

August 27, 2018August 27, 2018 by lizyjones

She Reads Truth| Psalms for Prayer

“A Prayer for When God Seems Silent”

I know I’m not the only one who sometimes goes through life and doesn’t always stop to think of what God is doing. As I walk around my neighborhood, I rarely think, “wow, God has created these trees. He has made the people to make these streets. I haven’t even prayed for the ability to be able to walk… and yet He created me to.” I don’t think I’ve ever stopped to thank the Lord for answering needs I haven’t even prayed.

Yet I am quick to cry to Him for the prayers He doesn’t seem to hear. Oh I know He hears them, and I know He IS answering them, but I still lament to Him that I know better. And if He only knew how much sweeter my life would be if He… blessed me with a better paying job, or if He put a total 10 Christian man in my life, the list could just go on and on and on…. and He is silent.

As I cry in my apartment about the life I think I want, questioning God’s sovereignty… begging Him to tell me what I need to do… He is silent. I turn away from Him at these times. I turn to people who are not silent. I ask friends for their opinions. And when I come back to talk to God- to help me discern these opinions; He is still silent.

Through His perfect silence, He brings me back to Him, over and over. Through His silence, His presence is felt. His love is loud. He reminds me that He has never broken a promise to me. That historically, in the Bible, and in our lives, He has loved, carried, led, and redeemed us.

So when I’m sitting in the silence of the Lord, I need to remember that I am still in the presence of Him- not forgotten.

“I cry aloud to God,

aloud to God, and he will hear me.

In the day of my trouble I seek the Lord;

in the night my hand is stretched out without wearying;

my soul refuses to be comforted.

When I remember God, I moan;

when I meditate, my spirit faints. Selah

You hold my eyelids open;

I am so troubled that I cannot speak.

I consider the days of old,

the years long ago.

I said,“Let me remember my song in the night;

let me meditate in my heart.”

Then my spirit made a diligent search:

“Will the Lord spurn forever,

and never again be favorable?

Has his steadfast love forever ceased?

Are his promises at an end for all time?

Has God forgotten to be gracious?

Has he in anger shut up his compassion?” Selah

 Then I said, “I will appeal to this,

to the years of the right hand of the Most High.”

I will remember the deeds of the Lord;

yes, I will remember your wonders of old.

I will ponder all your work,

and meditate on your mighty deeds.

Your way, O God, is holy.

What god is great like our God?

You are the God who works wonders;

you have made known your might among the peoples.

You with your arm redeemed your people,

the children of Jacob and Joseph. Selah

When the waters saw you, O God,

when the waters saw you, they were afraid;

indeed, the deep trembled.

The clouds poured out water;

the skies gave forth thunder;

your arrows flashed on every side.

The crash of your thunder was in the whirlwind;

your lightnings lighted up the world;

the earth trembled and shook.

Your way was through the sea,

your path through the great waters;

yet your footprints were unseen.

You led your people like a flock

by the hand of Moses and Aaron.”

-Psalm 77:1-20

Father, I pray that when you seem silent I can sit in your silence. I pray that your silence does not mean to give up the hopes of my heart, but rather to turn to you when I’m hurting. That when I’m comparing myself to the lives of others- that your silence is really just you listening to my pain. That even though it’s not justified, You hear me. You love me. You truly are the best Friend for not interrupting me, even though I wish you would. Thank you for Your silence, because I know the silence is not a lack of love or of guidance. That when I wish Your way was more clear to me, I need to remember “your footprints {are} unseen,” but you are still leading your people. In your silence I can still cry/ scream/ be silent… as long as I remember to turn to You. And God, when I don’t turn to you, don’t be gentle in Your reminders to me. Shake me.

August 22, 2018August 22, 2018 by lizyjones

She Reads Truth| Hymns

Abide with Me

John 15: 1-8 & 1 John 3: 18-24

I’m not going to lie, this hymn doesn’t really ‘do it for me.’ Like when I hear it I don’t turn the volume up and put my hands out and start SINGING. I don’t get emotional. I don’t get excited when I see it’s in the church lineup for Sunday.

BUT I remember something a discipler told me in college- when you don’t care to sing a song because you don’t get it, you can still worship the Lord through that song. You can listen to the lyrics while everyone else is singing to see what it is saying about our God. Pray over the words that they may be true in your life. And also research if the song is Biblical and where in the the Bible it comes from.

So that’s what I did the other day when I saw the hymn for the day on She Reads Truth. After reading the Scripture, I googled what abide even means (like we know what it means, but what are some synonyms we can replace it with?).

a·bide

əˈbīd/

verb

1. accept or act in accordance with (a rule, decision, or recommendation).

   “I said I would abide by their decision”

   synonyms:

   comply with, obey, observe, follow, keep to, hold to, conform to, adhere to, stick to, stand by, act in accordance with, uphold, heed, accept, go along with, acknowledge, respect, defer to “he expected everybody to abide by the rules”

2. (of a feeling or a memory) continue without fading or being lost.

   synonyms:

   continue, remain, survive, last, persist, stay, live on “the memory of our parting will abide”

Then I looked over the lyrics. Wow they’re beautiful! As I prayed over them, I asked God to make them true in my life- that I would remain in Him when ‘darkness deepens,’ and ‘comfort flees.’ I prayed to keep to Him and obey through the ‘ebbs out life’s little day.” That I would be reminded that He does not change! I want to constantly remember and ask that He stay with me always because I need Him always. Thank you Spirit for living in me!

Abide with Me
Text: Henry Francis Lyte, 1847
Tune: William H. Monk, 1861

Abide with me: fast falls the eventide;
the darkness deepens; Lord, with me abide.
When other helpers fail and comforts flee,
Help of the helpless, O abide with me.

Swift to its close ebbs out life’s little day;
earth’s joys grow dim, its glories pass away.
Change and decay in all around I see.
O Thou who changest not, abide with me.

I need Thy presence every passing hour.
What but Thy grace can foil the tempter’s power?
Who like Thyself my guide and strength can be?
Through cloud and sunshine, O abide with me.

I fear no foe with Thee at hand to bless,
ills have no weight, and tears no bitterness.
Where is death’s sting? Where, grave, thy victory?
I triumph still, if Thou abide with me.

Hold Thou Thy cross before my closing eyes.
Shine through the gloom and point me to the skies.
Heaven’s morning breaks and earth’s vain shadows flee;
in life, in death, O Lord, abide with me.

So it’s still not my favorite song, but it reminds me that we can still worship Christ even when the music isn’t our favorite. We don’t just need to put our hands out/up (figuratively or literally) when we are feeling it. Maybe when we aren’t feeling it is when we really need to put the hands out surrendering. Praying that the words we are singing/ listening to become more true in our lives (even when the church music leaders decide to change a classic song up a bit and mess with the beat… we can still worship).

 

July 20, 2018July 18, 2018 by lizyjones

Thirty Flirty & Thriving

Thirty. At the end of this year I’ll be thirty. I’m not bummed that I’m leaving my twenties. In fact, I’m kind of excited. People/ magazines/ blogs tell me that I’m about to enter my most confident decade yet!

I’ve used my twenties as a time to figure out who I am- my convictions and my passions (stillllll working on that). This past decade has been amazing, but for some reason I am, truly, ready to be thirty. Maybe that’s when people will stop telling me I’m too young/ too naive/ too inexperienced. I’m looking forward to learning more about myself, my community, and to just be me! (SO CHEESY!)

What I’m hoping for m0ost of all: CONFIDENCE. Maybe that will help with the flirty and thriving part! 😉 How in the world do people flirt? WHAT IS FLIRTING?! I was public school educated, shouldn’t I be well-versed in this social norm?!!?

HELP!

July 17, 2018July 18, 2018 by lizyjones

190 Days In

I added two dresses to the list: of pack of white tees, bathing suit, and fuzzy pullover– making my new clothes total for the year 5 items! (Lie- I also bought a couple undergarments… but like, you have to have those, right?)

For some, 5 items might still be a lot, but from January- July of last year I probably had purchased at least 20 new clothing items (on a non-profit budget…). 😦 Isn’t that insane? AT LEAST 20! Who was I? The freaking Sultan of Brunei?

My obsession with new things isn’t healthy and it hasn’t completely gone away, but I am so thankful that its lessened.

Things that have helped me not buy as much:

• UNSUBSCRIBE FROM ALL STORE EMAILS! You will not tempt me with your % off sales!
• Tell people you aren’t buying new clothes- accountability!
• Don’t go to the physical stores- ring a ding ding genius.
• When you HAVE to go to the store- bring cash for exactly what you need! You can’t spend more if you don’t have more!
• Do a closet inventory and get creative with what you haven’t worn in a while.
• Start a dress-code/ uniform for yourself (my casual Friday outfit is now jeans and a white tee… the amount of time I have saved by giving myself a uniform is AMAZING).
• If you find yourself online browsing with items in your cart- wait at least 24 hours before pressing buy! If you aren’t thinking about it that WHOLE time while waiting- you probably don’t need it. While waiting check your wardrobe for anything similar to what’s in your cart. Also, the items in your cart should be SO versatile- like you should be able to think of at least 3 ways to wear it with pieces you already own.
• This one is super inconvenient for life, but do not let your computer/ phone auto populate your payment info. It’s more painful if you have to type it in yourself…

What are some ways you’ve cut down on spending money on clothes? Help me out!

July 10, 2018 by lizyjones

1st Birthday (Korean Style!)

Alien Parasite Baby is ONE (check out posts about Beck here and here and here)! Can you believe? (ALSO- full disclosure, totally obsessed with Queer Eye on Netflix).

My parents came into town with my 6, year old, nephew (future post on nephew #1’s days with Emo E later) to celebrate this fun event! Beck’s momma, Gayle, decided on doing a traditional Korean 1st birthday, complete with doljabi, for the party.

My momma and Sophia (Gayle’s BFF) cooked up a storm (I mean Gayle helped too, and I did a little…). The finished product was a beautiful, full, birthday table. ❤ And a lot of happy guests. Below are some of my favorite pics from the day! (and in case you were wondering, Beck chose the paintbrush twice! Can’t wait to see what kind of creative life lies ahead of him!)

Beck- I love you so much. Your family loves you so much. I pray that you grow up surrounded, aways, knowing how much we love you- and that you discover a greater Love as well. You’re the bee’s knees and I just am obsessed with everything you do.

June 21, 2018 by lizyjones

She Reads Truth| 1 Corinthians 9:1-27

Today I had a cry-fest at work. I had just received one negative, non- constructive email, and then immediately received another (FROM THE SAME PERSON!). My pride was hurt. My brain confused on what the person was asking for. Right after getting this emails and trying to come up with the correct format; my director comes in upset I went to another team member for some editing help before coming to her. I lost it. Everything I have been keeping in these past few weeks poured out. My frustrations with not really being able to do my job because I’m doing other people’s tasks came up… my confusion on what is my job… my hurt that I am not doing my best… ALL WELLED UP AND THEN SHOT OUT OF MY EYES. Like we’re talking hyperventilate crying here. Thankfully my director was so understanding, and it turned into a sweet therapy session, but nonetheless I needed a break after that. I went to read the She Reads Truth daily reading and oh boy did it hit.

1 Corinthians 9: 1-27

I often wonder, “I am running the race Paul talks about wrong?” Did everyone else show up in their Lululemon gear with friends and family, and I came alone in off-brand wear? Was everyone else training when I was eating donuts (metaphorically of course)? Are you all going in the same direction, fast, whereas I haven’t even stepped off the blocks?

Today’s reading was such an important reminder that I’m not be employed by a Christian organization- and that’s GOOD. I am called to share Christ here. I might have sucky days, but I am called here to boast in Christ.

I was reminded that my reward for doing a job well, whether it be mine or a coworkers’ does not come from my director… but rather from the Lord. My frustrations, He hears. He asks me to tell them to Him, so that He can remind me that I do not work for praise or approval from man; but to do my job well for His glory.  To be disciplined at work. To be organized at work.

To be prepared.

To run that race, and for Him. That I might run it slower, but to finish well. To stop comparing myself to the other runners who might be running with better jobs, with families, with fancier gear… He has reminded me in the midst of this urgh day that we are all running toward the same finish line- so stop comparing yourself to the other runners/ spectators.

So I’m running. I’m running away from my pride. I’m running away from my fears. I’m running away from comparison. I’m running away from guilt. I’m running away from my laziness. I running to Him. And I’m going to run with my head stretched out, looking toward Him.

 

June 14, 2018 by lizyjones

Sunset Strolls

I miss when summers meant FREEEEDOM, fun, and lots of sunshine (and sleeping in… all the sleeping in)!

Now it’s like I get off work and feel like the whole day has been ‘wasted’ inside a building. I forget that the sun doesn’t really go down until after 8! That gives me at least a good hour (after going home and taking the dog out for her walk) of summertime sunshine! Of basking in the sun and hopefully becoming a shade or two more bronze…

The sun going down doesn’t signal the end of the summer day, in fact, sunsets might be my new favorite part of summer! The perfect time when you feel the warmth of the day, mixed with with the coolness of night. When things get just a little more still. This past weekend I went on the most beautiful sunset stroll. I forget how close I live to the Rio, and how wonderful New Mexico sunsets are. ❤

Walking around the Bosque is not only gorgeous, it’s free! Yaaaasss. Saving money, having great conversations (with friends or with God), getting my steps in, AND having that summer feeling? Sign me up!

Question: As an ‘adult,’ how do you still get that summer feeling?

Summer goal: enjoy as many of these nights as possible! ❤

 

*selfie (dated 6/3/1998) was taken with the Huji app. SO much fun. It’s a disposable camera app on your phone. Lol. Ultimate hipster app.

June 8, 2018June 12, 2018 by lizyjones

29 Reasons Why I Love You

Lately, I’ve just been really down on myself. It’s just been one of those seasons where I cannot seem to be positive about me, and only about others. This season has gone on longer than healthy… so God and I have been chatting about how He made me; and He created me in His image… and how precious that is. So, even though it’s super cheesy, I have been writing down things (little and big) that I like about myself. I encourage you to do the same.

1. Your laugh, that when genuine, turns into a snort.

2. I love that you never come to a house empty handed.

3. Your love for literature- how you can devour books in hours.

4. How humble you are when people brag how fast they read a book- when you read it hours faster. 😉 (Is it humble if I’m bragging about it now?)

5. That you always use your traffic indicator/ turn signal.

6. Your addiction to good coffee… because the smell of coffee reminds you of Dad.

7. How you know your life’s goal is to grow closer to the Lord, when it seems the rest of the world is telling your goal should be marriage.

8. The need to always have fresh flowers- and to, randomly, give them to others because you buy too many for your home/ office.

9. How you don’t know the words to any songs, even your favorites… except 90’s boy band hits.

10. I love that you feel at home in a tent or in a mega-mansion- but never in a crowd.

11. Your ability to be calm in crisis, which you know is the Spirit in you, because your tendency is to freak the freak out.

12. That you KNOW processed sugar is the devil, but still love sweets for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. ❤ Followed by dessert, of course.

13. I love that you love Lord of the Rings, because it resonates so deeply with your soul. Like so much.

14. How you’re learning that being you is ok. You’re not really that care-free, spontaneous, or thrifty… and that’s ok. The world also needs Type-A, J-Crew loving, over-thinkers (who are also up for the occasional spontaneity, but like, let’s plan it).

15. I love that you are always ready with a laugh or a cry for your friends. There’s been a lot of learning about vulnerability this past year.

16. Your ability to make people feel like you’re best friends- aka have deep conversations with people. (This will be awkward when you actually have to pick best friends…)

17. That you call your parents regularly, even when you would rather not.

18. How you like that you bruise easily- you’ve taken a medical urgh, and turned it into a way to share adventures (or just clumsiness).

19. That you’re a firm believer in the #treatyoself life.

20. I love your obsession with Survivor. 18 years strong!

21. Your lips and your freckles!

22. That your body hair requires minimal maintenance!

23. How you’ve grown as a listener. To take more pauses for other people to talk- and to continue what they want to say. Is this frustrating sometimes because then you feel like people are talking over you and never ask you questions? Yes. Is this important because maybe no one else allows them a space to talk. Absolutely.

24. How you’re learning to follow-through; and let your yes be a firm yes.

25. I love that age doesn’t define you- you are neither too young nor too old for anything. Somedays you feel 17 and others 77.

26. That your favorite day includes reading or writing in a coffee shop with headphones in, but not listening to music and just listening to everyone’s conversations around you.

27. When you go out with a friend, the need to pay for their drink/ lunch/ dinner/ whatever; because you think you’re showing them how much you value their time and  company by doing so.

28. How you cry thinking about what Jesus has done in your life, in the lives of loved ones, and how He has promised you so much!

29. I love that you listened to God to write down things to recognize aspects HE created in you that makes you YOU! It’s been a refreshing and sweet way to build you up in Him. To remind you that He loves you; and you should stop comparing yourself to others.

I’m a believer in gratitude journaling, but usually I write down external things I’m thankful for. These past few days I’ve been focusing on the things God has internally given me. It’s so easy to see the beauty in others, but it’s also so important to make it a habit to see the good you possess and bring to this world too!

 

 

June 4, 2018June 5, 2018 by lizyjones

148 Days Strong(ish)

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(find 33 Days Strong: here)

We are 148 days into 2018. So far I’ve downsized my closet by a whole clothing rack. So I’m living from 1 closet and 1 SPARSE rack! #killingit

I’ve definitely shopped- I put a lot of stuff in my online carts (looking at you 40% off JCrew), and then I think to myself… Hey girl, you probably have several items VERY similar to this. You really don’t need another white shirt. Last year around this time, I probably, on average, bought 4 new items a month. This year I have bought 3 items TOTAL! I purchased a new bathing suit, a pack of white men’s V neck undershirts (here’s an inexpensive ethical white tee), and a fuzzy Cat & Jack XL boy’s pullover from Target (it was a weakness purchase, that I do not regret). Perks of being short- wearing children’s clothing!

Anyway, just wanted to keep an update and remind myself why I’m doing this. I want to live a more minimal life. I want my clothes to not define me. I want to look nice, but wear more of a uniform/ what I own instead of constantly trying to keep up with what’s current. I want to know that who I bought my clothes from are paying fair wages; and providing good working conditions. It’s a reminder that clothes cannot fill anything in my soul. It’s not impossible. You can do it!

May 30, 2018June 5, 2018 by lizyjones